THE HOLY SHOWS
THE HOLY SHOWS was the first song to be taken from the album “The Death Of A Dying Star” released in 2020.
It’s a commentary on church sexual abuse and the hypocrisy of a clergy that preach righteousness yet spend their time raping children. I turned my back on Christianity a long time ago when I realised just how offensive the Bible is. Filled with misogyny, homophobia, and racism it’s hardly a book we should be using as our moral compass. Not to mention the ridiculous stories contained in it that we are told to take as literal truth. That’s not to say I don’t have a spiritual aspect to my life. I do. I just don’t put my faith in a bunch of paedophiles who have the audacity to tell me that I’m the one going to Hell.
The video for this song, filmed by Kalto Films, depicts on the surface, me chasing a child molesting vicar and executing him in a tale of poetic justice. I also wanted to put to death the character of The Pornographer, who I had created in an earlier album to portray the voyeurism of my life at that time within a psychiatric institution. My life has certainly moved on in recent years and I’m actually in a really good place, mentally. I feel this album was a new beginning for me. Indeed, the concept at its core is depicting a sun that previously imploded in its own sadness now becoming supernova and rebirthing itself hotter than the fires of Hell itself.
8 HOURS CLOSER
The days that followed my ex-partner taking his life were immensely difficult for me. My doctor prescribed me sedatives to help me sleep as intrusive images of finding his body were on my mind constantly. The sleep became a panacea for me. Each night brought me 8 hours of relative peace. In fact, it brought me 8 hours closer to the day I die. This was something that crossed my mind more than once. I felt like life had dealt me endless misery and I was tired. Tired of living and experiencing the endless kick in the teeth I seemed to get. Eventually, my doctor stopped prescribing the medication. I guess he realized that it could become a crutch for me. Life began to feel less painful in time. There are reasons to stay awake and truly live. I guess each of us has to find a purpose in our lives. The Adam Kadmon project was in two parts. This first part “Adam Kadmon: When The Heart Implodes” tells the story of my lowest point. The second part "The Death of a Dying Star" focussed on “Jacob’s Ladder”, my journey to higher spiritual realms, then eventually realizing that I need to return to Earthly realms to put into practice what I have learned.